What does loneliness currently feel like while being single?
It often means ending your day with no physical contact.
It is realizing that when you try to wrap your chubby arms yourself,
they don’t quite reach far enough to feel anything close to a real hug.
It is aching for the kind of hug you feel so deeply into your back
that your skeleton doesn’t feel hollow anymore.
It is lying in a full-sized bed that somehow feels too big.
It is admitting defeat when it comes to ever reaching the knot in your back.
It is the empty spot on the couch next to you.
It is wishing for surprise flowers that never arrive.
It is having no one to witness the mundane.
It is the lack of shared inside jokes,
and the after work, “How was your day?”
It is the abundance of leftovers if you ever cook.
It is letting the extra ticket go to waste
and standing at the concert alone.
It is forgetting what holding hands feels like
and forgetting if you prefer holding hands
from the front or from behind.
It is ending a challenging workday with an empty cup
that may partially be filled by friends,
if you even see them.
It is missing having a buffer in socially awkward situations,
or being the third, fifth, or seventh wheel.
It is having no dance partner.
It is realizing there is no one to fight with
about unloading the dishwasher.
It is eating the whole avocado so you don’t worry
about the other half rotting in the fridge.
It is not being able to afford a house,
have a backyard,
and possibly have your own child.
It is taking solo trips to try not to put your life on hold,
while also being unsure of how to make a five-year plan
when you imagine someone else’s plan will eventually be part of it.
It is being told over and over again
that you need to learn to love yourself
when you already do,
and you continually question
why someone else can’t easily love you
the way you already do.
It is ending your day alone with no “Goodnight”,
and waking up with no hope for a “Good Morning!”
It is wondering if you will ever be kissed again.
It is waiting while also trying not to wait.
It is accepting that you are no one’s priority.
It is desiring to be seen and understood deeply.
It is recognizing that you have built a life worth sharing
and wishing there was someone to share each day with
before life comes to an end.
Sincerely,
Vera Lynn
By Vera Lynn 
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